Beneath.Between.Beyond

under construction

2005-05-17T23:31:00.000+08:00

read the title foo'. UNDER CONSTRUCTION.

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i cut my hair

2005-05-02T17:46:00.000+08:00

i cut my hair. so much for my life.

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my friends.the end of the world.

2005-04-13T09:09:00.000+08:00

two more popes.

the jerusalem temple upon completion.

the moon painted scarlet red with blood.

3 years of peace

3 years of turmoil.

sickness disease plague the earth

disasters roam the eart.

the end of the world

my friends.

-Sheng

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hawker center politics.

2005-04-09T22:14:00.000+08:00

i've got this new job that i really like. my cousin bought over a drink stall in Ayer Rajer Hawker Center, West Coast. he needed help and i needed a job and everything else fell into place. i started my first day of work on thursday, and it has opened my eyes to so much....happenings in this Godforsaken world. on my first day on the job, there were already so many hawker center politics introduced to me that i went dizzy with shock. we were only allowed to serve to specific ten tables and if we ventured further from what we already own, other drink stalls can come and fight with us and complain us to the chairman. okay...i absorbed that rather quickly. and then before i knew it, there was shouting and fighting at about 10 in the morning. apparently the cleaner might have broken a plate or something, and the char kway teow cook was being scolded by the boss and the boss in turn shouted at the cleaner and there was like....almost some fight. whatever. so the day progressed and i learnt how to make sugar cane juice, talk in hokkien and to brush up my Godforsaken chinese. and then when the hour was approaching 2pm, this really fat ahbeng dude went stall to stall collecting 8 bucks. the first thing that hit me like a brick was that stalls were paying this char kway teow stall owners protection money because they looked so big sized and ahbengish...and the boss of that stall almost beat up a helpless cleaner. when i asked my cousin why they collected 8 bucks everyday, he told me that they were collecting "money for collecting plates". it didnt make head or tail sense to me but i had to go "orhhhhhhhhhh". i bet it was some kinda gang protection money and stuff. whatever. so on the second day of work, friday, yesterday, two indian stalls were quarrelling early in the morning about 9am. it just amazes me how the most boring places could hold some of the worlds greatest eye candy. but friday nothing much happened. as i was going home i met up with "Ah Gu", the cleaner who was almost plummeted by that fat fat. (i hope you're still following me in this little story of mine..) but he's the life of the whole hawker center. he's never serious and always never serious. he always fools around with everyone...and maybe thats the thing that gets him into trouble....(like me sometimes..ha). but we sat in the bus stop together and i talked to him in chinese while i desperately tried to pick out farmiliar hokkien words he was machine-gunning at me. today's work at the hawker center was busy busy with lots of drink orders and it was all good. and i met our next door stalls daughter and son. Cheryl and Andy. now they were a breath of fresh air. they constantly bombarded me with punches and slaps on my butt and blocking my path that it was sooo fun to toy around with them. and i'm serious about thte touching my butt part...Cheryl kept doing that. and just to dawn a revelation on you, Cheryl's 7 and Andy's 4. haha. so no hot butt touching action as you might want to think it would be. but it was good. i'm currently loving my job so much i wanna work there forever. the whole hawker center atmosphere is so fun and carefree....LAGI SHIOK! and this is a piece of trash from me that i've departed to you. Peace Out~

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my life.

2005-04-04T12:51:00.000+08:00

i was looking through my old photos today and...so many memories flooded back into this idle mind of mine. past happiness. past sadness. past success. past failures. past memories. only memories. but as i remembered each story behind the photo like as if it only happened yesterday, yestermonth, yesteryear, i have this memories to thank for who i am today. only these memories that i went through moulded me and made me into the person, into the man that i am today. so you (yes you....you whoever's reading my entry right now!) will have the honour of taking a peek into my oh-so-not perfect life. and the only reason why i'm typing so much today is because i'm friggin bored!

this was my first crush. we almost got hitched but something in me said it wasnt time yet. i let God provide me with The One for my life.

this was a picture taken about 3 years back in 2002. we were young and naive then. but 2 people in the group has fallen from contact and their presence has since faded from our memories.

my cellgroup had a chalet and we were having like some games and stuff. and my team was the only team that managed to build a raft that could hold a big stone on it. HAHA. those times.....happy times.

this photo was taken when we were on the beach and it was gonna rain soon. so Jaslin was struck with a bolt of creativity and this picture was taken. its so awesome! thats Jaslin and Jeremy's hand in there. man this picture is so darn beautiful!

this picture was of our old cellgroup, W101. alot of faces have yet remained till now and also alot of faces have faded from the picture and from our lives.

this beautiful girl beside was my first love, first girlfriend i ever had, but sadly it didnt last long. i guess my flesh wanted my way but God still had a plan ahead of me but i wanted my way. she's my first girlfriend....and the next time i'm every going to get attached would be after army. nothing hurts like love. to all those people out there who has never given their love away, keep it that way. dont give something away only to regret later. but i've moved on and i'm not the same. thank you Mei Luan. for all the shit you put me through and for everything you've done to me, into this monster, if not for you i wouldnt be the person i am today. thank you.

this shot was taken in 2004. my classmates and me were walking to our friends house, and we looked jsut like one big gang. haha. and just for the record, Kee Siong has one big sexy butt!

this picture was taken at my place. me and Hui Maan really looked so pretty and handsome. and i mean pretty and handsome.

Timothy looks so happy.....and i wonder why is that so.

call me spider man because.......just call me spider man!

this picture was taken at my place. me and Ida really looked so pretty and handsome. and i mean pretty and handsome.

i guess my face looked tempting enough for people to smack. oh well..

i guess Timothy was still very happy...and...i was...erm...angry i guess? haha. the last 6 photos were taken at my class barbeque at my house.

well i've showed you ( yes you....you still reading my entry.) the past 4 years of my life. although it isnt a complete day to day portfolio of me, all this pictures is enough to show how much of a not-so-perfect person i am. i am human, so are you. the past is filled with happy moments in my life, and also terrible hurts that hardened my heart. i just wanna tell you that you cannot erase or forget your past, but you can let go of whatever and look towards the future. yes it is the past which determines who you are, but its the future that determines your life to come. i've typed enough for today. live life....live. this is sheng, signing out. peace out!

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to heck with everything

2005-03-01T15:44:00.000+08:00

you know, ever since that day i went for the Aids Awareness gig, something hit me like a ton of bricks. a realization. why care about anything anymore? and i totally agree on that thought. i mean, why care about little things that tick us off? why care about things that make us angry? why care about hating? it would waste so much time and waste so much of our life just hating each other and caring about the world. things that are temporary will eventually die along with our bodies. but things that are eternal will never die. so i'm making a statement right now, I DONT GIVE A HOOT ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE. i live for God and myself. i'm carefree. little things shant bother me anymore because i simply couldnt give a damn anymore seriously. i dont care. i couldnt care. i couldnt care less.

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blurry

2005-02-21T00:10:00.000+08:00

everything's so blurry and everyone's so fake

and everybody's empty and everything is so messed up

preoccupied without you i cannot live at all

my whole world surrounds you i stumble then i crawl

you could be my someone you could be my scene

you know that i'll protect you from all of the obscene

i wonder what you're doin imagine where you are

there's oceans inbetween us but thats not very far

can you take it all away..

when you shoved it in my face

this pain you gave to me

can you take it all away..
can you take it all away..
when you shoved it in my face

everyone is changing there's no one left thats real.

to make up your own ending let me know just how you feel

because i am lost without you i cannot live at all

my whole world surrounds you i stumble then i crawl

you could be my someone you could be my scene

you know that i'll save you from all of the unclean

i wonder what you're doin i wonder where you are

there's oceans inbetween us but thats not very far

can you take it all away..
can you take it all away..
when you shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me

no body told me what you found

no body told me what to say

everyone showed you where to turn

told you where to run away

no body told you where to hide

no body told you what to say

everyone showed you where to turn

showed you where to run away

can you take it all away..
can you take it all away..
when you shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me

no...this pain you gave to me.

this pain you gave to me.

you take it all..

take it all away

this pain you gave to me

take it all away

this pain you gave to me

take it all away

this pain...this pain you gave to me.

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i'm a mess

2005-02-15T23:33:00.000+08:00

into this world i came unclothed.

breast fed, milk drunk,

and time flew by like the

swinging of the unchanging pendulum

and i was a teenager.

in the affairs of the heart,

fair or unfair one doesnt care.

i thought i've grown up.

i thought i've become matured

i thought i thought.

but i was so damn wrong.

time and time again i stitch up my shattered heart

only waiting for it to be cut through once again.

love

whats love?

i am through with everything.

i am through with the world.

i am through with people.

i am through with relationships.

i am through with myself.

but i'll pull through

like i always do

i will break free

you'll see.

-sheng

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tis the season to be punky

2005-02-02T21:51:00.000+08:00

the season in this season is to go punk. i'm going punk!

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Singaporeans are useless

2005-01-31T22:17:00.000+08:00

today is the 31st of Jan, Monday. my kitchen caught fire. did my neighbours help? NO. instead they complain. it all started like this...

my mom and dad were coming back late so i decided to cook dinner for them. fish and chips. deep fried. heated up a pan of oil and i placed newspaper in the surrounding area so oil that splatters around wont dirty the place. i started on my first fillet and the news paper caught fire. i know it was like an accident and all. it started small but turned really big. i faster got water and splashed around. i did put out the fire but i created a mess. so i stopped my cooking and started cleaning up. soon after, security guards came and asked me if i was playing with fire. wth. okay....so i said i was cooking and a things went out of hand. then they said neighbours are complaining. wth2. and finally they asked me to turn down my radio because neighbours are complaining. wth3. well, this gives me enough reason to detest singaporeans, and detest the people in singapore. i know not everyone is like that, but my neighbours are just useless.pathetic.idiots.morons. when you see someone in trouble...would you help? or would you go complain to the guard house.

sorry everyone out there whom i've not met but are reading this, i hate singaporeans. let me rephrase that. i DETEST singaporeans. please take your self righteous crap, selfishness, unwillingess, inconsiderate crap and just die. thank you very much.

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perfect..nothing

2005-01-27T22:21:00.000+08:00

Songs are like people...they'll never be perfect.

With songs, you can write and rewrite, compose and rearrange, fiddle and twiddle and drive yourself mad striving for the perfect element that says exactly what you want to say. And still fall short.

With people, you can coax and cajole, reason and argue, plead and meddle and work yourself into a lather trying to make someone see the error of their ways. And still fall short.

It's when you come to that realization, that moment of clarity that nothing on this plane of existence can be perfect, when you accept that songs and people will always fall short...that's when you start communicating.

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so near.yet so far

2005-01-20T23:05:00.000+08:00

u know how some people come into your life and become a part of it. then one day u realise that they dont seem to be part of your life anyone. your late-night chatters somehow fade to become insignificant hellos exchanged when u pass each other, muttered too hastily to be remembered. then one day u start to think abt that person again. what they're doing, what's new in their lives and why they nvr seem to call anymore. thats when u notice the huge rift that has wedged itself in between u and the person throughout the days, months, years.. and how strange that u nvr seemed to notice it. though u want to close the gap, to reunite that lost friendship, u will find that some things lost will just remain lost.i really miss some of the people who i used to call my best friends. those i used to do crazy stuff with, those i called when i cried, those i said i would be friends with forever.. but then again, we never get to decide how long forever lasts.. do we? (:as much as i hate change, i have to accept the fact that it will happen throughout life. and right now as i go on to another chapter of my life, change will be inevitable.so to those i used to be friends with (u know who u are)- as cliche as this may sound.. i miss u, i'm thinking about u and there'll always be a space for u in my heart.

-IdaOng

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Romance.

2005-01-15T13:12:00.000+08:00

Romance, who loves to nod and sing,
With Drowsy head and folded wing,
Among the green leaves as they shake
Far down within some shadowy lake,
To me a painted paroquet
Hath been- a most familiar bird-
Taught me my alphabet to say-
To lisp my very earliest word
While in the wild wood i did lie,
A child- with a most knowing eye.

Of late, eternal Condor years

So shake the very Heaven on high

With tumult as they thunger by,

I have no time for idle cares

Through gazing on the unquiet sky.

And when an hour with calmer wings

Its down upon my spirit flings-

That little time with lyre and rhyme

To while away- forbidden things!

My heart would feel to be a crime

Unless it trembled with the strings.

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Forsaken me.

2005-01-11T08:55:00.000+08:00

Why have you Forsaken me.

In Your heart Forsaken me.

In Your mind Forsaken me.

In Your arms Forsaken me.

-Sheng

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in a cage

2004-12-26T23:58:00.000+08:00

i feel like i'm a prisoner of my own circumstance

whatever i do, whatever i say,

is being monitored by my parents.

the clothes i wear, the hairstyles i cut,

they always seem to have something to say.

I am ME.

no one has the right to judge or define ME.

but my parents think otherwise.

until that day when i'm not under their shadow anymore,

i WILL feel like i'm a prisoner of my own circumstance

-Sheng

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Let them know its Christmas Time

2004-12-25T02:49:00.000+08:00

24th of December 04, Friday. me and my friend decided to watch kungfuhustle at cineleisure at 925. reached there, all sold out. so we went to lido to watch kungfuhustle at 945. reached there, all sold out. so we decided to go Esplanade for a walk. reached there, so freakin crowded. so we sat at the war memorial talking the night away. boring eh? the two main things we set out to do, we didnt accomplish them. didnt get to watch a movie and didnt get to go for the countdown. but we did enjoy our company together lar.. hoho..go guess who she is. but what i wanna really dig into is whati saw at orchard. while we were walking, everyone was partying and having a great time, selling beers at $1, drinking beers for $1, selling sprays for $10, wasting that $10 by spraying it in the air, and it was really so crowded and stuffy and happy. but when i saw that sight, something got me thinking. where's God in all this? where's the true meaning of Christmas in all this? Christmas has been simplified to nothing but a commercial holiday and a money spending/wasting time. Christmas is celebrated because of the birth of Jesus Christ....but i didnt see those people in orchard celebrating that..instead they were drunk, shouting "Merry Christmas", and just partying the night away. i want to make it clear that Christmas is celebrated because of the birth of JESUS CHRIST! without him, we would all be living a meaningless life on Earth. so i'm quite upset Christmas has been made into such a worhtless time. its meant to be holy yet industries has utilised this holiday to earn money. people have changed Christmas into Xmas. i mean....what in the name of Isaac Ashimov is Xmas????? whats X???? crying out loud.....

i hope people would realise the seriousness they have done to this sacred day. Sheng speaking....peace out~

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double life

2004-12-22T10:45:00.000+08:00

I have disappointed myself

I am disappointed in myself.

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Stasis VII

2004-12-17T13:52:00.000+08:00

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Sky In Euphoria, one of my mentoring bands, is having a gig.
2nd January, Sunday
1pm - 10pm
Substation Garden

those who wanna go message me.

Tix = $6 at WMLM
La Vanta
Roxy Records

Tix = $8 at door.

END.
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the making of an album...only to be destroyed.

2004-12-16T23:24:00.000+08:00

well..after much criticism from friends, i've finally decided to update my blog. you want an update, i give you an update. you want music, i give you music. first things first. my cell group decided to come up with a christmas album...that was a really cool idea. we practiced some christmas songs, and when we're really good at it, we'll go recording studio and cut an album. the idea was really expensive, but we decided to go for it...coz it was uber cool! we started our jamming sessions one week back. we were really having good chemistry together. lead guitarist, rythm guitarist, drummer, keyboardist, percussionist, everything was going smoothly... and the inevitable happened. my cg leader called off the album because of low funds. i was so friggin pissed off....but oh well, she knows best lar. but i was truly disappointed. no more album.... but oh well.this are some pictures from my sessions..

anyways, some good music news. i've been given the most rarest opportunity in my life. i guess its a God-incident. when i went for Paruosia's gig ( in my previous entry) and i talked to them and all, i'm going to have my very first big gig next year...most probably march. so to all those who have been anticipating my band's debut, this would be it. gonna hear our very own composed songs for the very first time. do come and support me.. details would be given in the later stages of next year. I'M FRIGGIN EXCITED!

END
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gig at Third Place

2004-11-26T22:58:00.000+08:00

i dont really leave entries but i have to for today, because i just went for an awesome journey. skip to the part where i went for the gig. in the morning was purely walking around with two pals and looking at nice clothes. it was 7 when we reached third place. Julia invited me there, and i thought it would be some really dumb concert...but oh was i wrong. first band that played was velvet rose. the guitarist was good but......they didnt tingle my pringle. next was Parousia...and thats the band that really touched my insides man. the band was made up of Llyod(vocals), Suny(bass), Caleb(keyboard) and Jeff(guitar). Parousia means the second coming of Christ, and coincidently, the Suny plays for praise and worship in church. the other two bands were Second Storey and Xsjadow..but Parousia was the best.after the whole gig was over, i just had to go over and talk to Suny.. and we talked and talked, and finally i got to know the whole band. it was just totally awesome. they even asked to jam with my band if the chance arouse. freak, i'm practically shaking in my boxers man. well, until next time.....ZEROSTATICCREW IS ALIVE!

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SG Idol

2004-11-19T20:59:00.000+08:00

i'm not an avid fan of Singapore Idol, but i have got to say that

SYLVESTER SUCKS LIKE MY HAIRY NUTS!!!!!

gosh...i dont really watch sg idol, but i know that Olinda can sing. come on, get real! Sylvester is like croaking his way to the top, like he's got flam or something. i'm not saying i can sing better then him, but singapore should really vote on talent, not on an orang utan face man. sheesh. but oh well, Taufik wins. Sylvester should have lost a long time ago. my goodness. this is horrible. argh.

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low-self esteem

2004-11-17T19:45:00.000+08:00

even though i'm a care-free person, i'm still really insecure about my looks. my pimples are exploding all over the place and my weight is increasin. i'm a fat blob of oil! but oh well, i dont really care. so if you cant stand my face, go look the other way then. =P say nice things about me k.

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Girls are pretty..

..what the heck happened to you?!

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things would never be the same Again.

2004-11-10T01:14:00.000+08:00

i wake up.
thinking that everything's all right
that it's all just a dream, a terrible nightmare
that is what everybody saes, isnt it?
that everything's gonna be all right?!

But no.

!Bang! Reality would hit me
and my world would start to fall apart (or come crashing down)
everything will all come rushing back,
forcing me to take it all in
Then i would see myself
in this dark, bottomless pit
there's nobody out there to save me
and then i see a hand
His hand, reaching out, to Me.
i would grab it instantly, of fear of losing it.

Again.

i would smile. and think that everyting's going to be alright.

Again.

But suddenly, he would let go of my grasp
and push me deeper, deeper.
i'm falling into the bottomless bit, it's gettin' darker.
He's fading away, further, and further away from Me,
i can no longer see him.

Things would never be the same again.

-Shirley Ang

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hypnosis: my friend wrote this when she was going through some hell on earth. but she has since emerged stronger and wiser, not allowing the same mistake to happen yet another time. as the saying goes," the biggest mistake one can make....is not learning from one's mistakes." Sheng signing out....peace out.

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my quotes

2004-11-09T13:53:00.000+08:00

if you make a fire for a cold man, he'll be kept warm for one night.
if you teach that man to make a fire, he will be kept warm forever.

-MY VERSION-
if you make a fire for a cold man, he'll be kept warm for one night.
but if you put that man on fire, he doesnt need to be cold anymore.

=)
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my quotes.

2004-11-08T13:19:00.000+08:00

give a hungry man a fish, you feed him for one day.
teach the hungry man to fish, he can feed himself forever.

-MY VERSION-
give a hungry man a fish, you feed him for one day.
feed that hungry man to the fishes, and he does not need to be hungry anymore.

=)
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non-existent

2004-10-31T10:15:00.000+08:00

i wont be doing much to my blog. not going to change my pictures, not going to add more songs and stuff after my o's are over. no mood no time no inspiration. peace out~`

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women

2004-10-25T11:19:00.000+08:00

women. cant live without them, can tlive with them. i've been screwed by women and i've taken enough of that bullshit. in particular this one girl....by the name of qml. i hate. i hate. i hate.

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Grad night

2004-10-23T22:08:00.000+08:00

was a blast. first ever big day gig. was real excited i must say. really felt like rock stars. having trouble transporting sound equipment.getting stressed and frustrated over idiotic band members. quarreling with hotel staff. testing our equipments. fine tuning them. setting up equipments. doing all those, really made me feel like some big shot rock star! but my grad night wasnt very memoriable though.. other then my performance, everything was like norm. i've posted my grad night pics in the moving box. check it out. another thing i got out of the grad night, other then the experience, is a sprained ankle..but it'll heal. Amen to that. Adios Amigos.

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Descent to hell.

2004-10-15T16:04:00.000+08:00

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day

You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way

Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town

Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

-Pink Floyd

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"Blinded"

2004-10-13T16:18:00.000+08:00

As the dream passes through me,

I feel more pain than before,

just an intrusion of the joy and peace

I once had

I was fooled - and now,

I must win my will back

to live to be myself

once again.

-Annie Marie Martinez

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as days go by,my heart grows cold

2004-10-02T22:16:00.000+08:00

i cant seem to let this all pass me by.

So take me,

and let me in.

dont break me,

and shut me up.

So take me,
and let me in.
dont break me,
and shut me up.

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right now.

2004-10-01T16:06:00.000+08:00

If not me then who?
If not now then when?

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2004-09-30T17:22:00.000+08:00

what has been done...cannot be undone.
sometimes
somethings
turn into
dumb things
and thats when i put my foot down,
my foot down.

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why..

2004-09-30T15:10:00.000+08:00

i hate my life i hate my life. never want another strife. this life i think i thought i had.

"Est Hodie in baois"

2004-09-29T16:44:00.000+08:00

With Metaphoric Tragedies
consuming attention spans
from the grassroots appeal,
i was caught in the web
of ackowledgement
A path less traveled by rock,
four on the floor became valid,
personally and publicly,
with overwhelming trials
And tribulations

Acceptance and ability
of our expression, consumed
like water in a drought
A focus on instrumental
Enlightenment, maintaining
A grounded mentality, allowing
The masses to apply in our
own lives, we share and promote.
Live, we understand. We connect.
We interpret and fulfill ourselves.

Breaking down the subtle
differences, denying nothing
but marketing mishaps,
the truth was ever so present.
A survival exam from the
validity of the masses,
Juxtaposing personal versus
public interest.
You succeeded in every way, form and shape.
An enigma of promotional
personality, perception
And protection to be
nothing less than
signifier.

-Peter .Ayer

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thoughts on life...

2004-09-27T20:40:00.000+08:00

this particular day, i saw this accident occuring. a lorry driver crashed into a motorcycle, being driven by a bangeldash worker i presume. it is obvious the lorry driver is in the wrong right? but guess what........his front bumper was like screwed coz of the impact with the motorcycle... the bangeldash was like lying injured, but that.....pathetic excuse of a human lorry driver was like shouting and cussing the bangeldash worker.. i thought to myself.."WTF!" i seriously wanted to just go there and wack the living shit out of that low life loser. immediately i got a revelation. your skin colour really depends what kind of society treatment you will recieve. if your a freakin ang moh, you get grade A treatment. but if you're skin colour aint baige, then you aint looked at. the world is a cruel place man.only when you have status and power then will people listen to you. if you're not and you have a medicore job, people will practically spit and treat you like dumbf***. i just hate this world man. but thats why we are in this world. to save the lost and to open up their mind's eye. Jesus came to love,save,and redeem... but the devil comes only to kill, steal and destroy. but you who are reading my entry now, sit and ponder for awhile....how do you treat the less fortunate?

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Jap Attack.

2004-09-26T21:39:00.000+08:00

today i met up with my jap cousin, Nobuko, for dinner..and she brought ten of her friends from japan to visit Singapore. it was totally awesome! the jap girls were like super....pretty! ar...and i was like surrounded by them...WOOHOO! today i aint feeling poetic coz i've been mesmarized by their...beauty. there was this one particular jap girl...her voice was really husky, and really sexy. and she's like a punk rock chick or something like that...that immediately scored ten points on my chick list. yeah...her name was Tsutsumi Kanako, and she was really hot. very hip hop. at the end of it all...she kinda gave me her email address... that was just fantastic baby! haha.... well.. thats about it. but i cant really talk jap and stuff.. well, her face would soon fade away from my memories. END.

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thoughts on life..

2004-09-21T16:27:00.000+08:00

the world is a cruel place.
people die people live.
the good die along with their principles and honours.
the evil live and corrupt the already polluted world.

what is the world coming to?
what is the wolrd coming to...

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Today

2004-09-15T21:00:00.000+08:00

what a hectic day today was. keeping my conscience awake for yet another day of grueling lessons. my mind is obligated to stay but my heart yearns to be in my studio once again, banging my head to the heavy metal riffs of my electric guitar. studying. made for those who are willing to study. well, life goes on. i am using the two brain cells in my head to really settle down and shake the dust off my textbooks. exams. made for those who are willing to take exams. o levels. when will this paraphenalia be over. oh how i yearn to fall sick eating to many potato chips and watching to many movies. until then, i'll be studying. ciaos.

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a poem for her

2004-09-10T21:27:00.000+08:00

love made,
love lost.
trust gained,
trust lost.

i gave my heart to you, but i
i wasnt ready.
i tore your heart into shreds.
broken glass upon a broken mantle.
whitered petals upon a dying rose.
i did not mean to hurt you,
i did not mean to tear your world apart.
i regret knowing you
because if i did not know you
i wouldnt have caused you the immense pain
and suffering.

i'm sorry.
i really am.

but your anger and hatred has blinded you from me.
now i am but a foe.

i only bother to care.......but you shun me away as always.
i hate you
i love you.

identity.fantasy.heresy.killing me.

well. seasons come seasons goes.
love comes love goes.
anger comes anger goes.
but i still want to be your friend.
your friend.
but if you want to just forget me.
go ahead.

but i wont.

-Sheng

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Take a Look at Me Now.

2004-09-09T13:16:00.000+08:00

i composed this song last year,in secondary 3, when i was going through some real tough times in school and out of school.anything that could go wrong, went wrong! this song really came out of my heart, and i'm glad that dilemma has passed, just like a passing shower. last year was really tough on me, but i'm glad i came out stronger and more mature.i thank God for what i've learnt and what i've gone through. problems only make you stronger. here goes. this song is called "Take a Look at Me Now."

'
What have i done to deserve this
pain and agony of people around
who's always putting me down

Was it the way i looked
was it the way i smelled
was it the way i shook
when you bullies pulled me down

I was an angry man
with an angry past
always trying to fight back
and survive so i can last
leading an angry life
but all that changed
when i embraced the truth
and gave up the shame

Take a look at me now i'm
Not what i used to be so
Stop what you're doing to me in the
End i will break free
You'll see

"
What have i done to deserve
being kicked in the face stabbed in the back
stabbed in the back

Was it what i did
was it what i said
was it what i hid
from you bullies filled with hate

I was a broken man
with a broken past
holding on to false hope
i thought i could have
leading a broken life
but all that changed
when i learned to live for truth
and give up the shame

Take a look at me now i'm
Not what i used to be so
Stop what you're doing to me in the
End i will break free
You'll see

"'
What have i done to deserve being pushed around
being hated
being faded

Was it what i can do
was it what i can be
was it what i can see in this
future made for me

Take a look at me now i'm
Not what i used to be so
Stop what you're doing to me in the
End i will break free
You'll see

I am a Changed Man
With a Changed Plan.

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stagnating.

2004-09-07T22:48:00.000+08:00

right now my life is quite static. dont really feel poetic now. i'm so bored. i guess the reason why i set up this stupid blog thingy was because i was bored. haha.

anyway, this is a little rap i did when i was young..like primary 3 or something.. haha.

we welcome you to join with us a unity restored,
with faith hope and love our joy will stay forever more.
shake hands dont be sad, no need to feel bluem,
we will walk with each other we will be true to you.
dance and celebrate together we join hands,
coz the love of our God has spread all over the land.
open your hearts and ears and you will understand,
how we can be together and be free at last!

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A Dream within A Dream

2004-09-06T08:20:00.000+08:00

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers tot he deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream?

-Edger Allan Poe

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a poem for me.

2004-09-05T09:13:00.000+08:00

why do you leave me hanging still
when youve promised never to do so
again.your words - like rainwater
get washed away. my tears cried -
they dry out on my face.

who am i,to complain,to feel upset,
when its become crystal clear
that your heart has left.
this place - of faded memories,
of long ago.

my foolishness,to hold on
to these things which hadnt mattered
to you. my once fond memories -
they are nothing
in your eyes.

i peer into that nothingness in you,
in your eyes.

tears cried.face dried.
do all these actually matter

they dont mean
anything
to you.

and i leave you something,of no spite nor anger.
for you.

-yicheng

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my feet back on the ground

2004-09-02T21:55:00.000+08:00

i'm planting my feet back on the ground.
these few days have been really hard on me.
why is this so? i am battling my foe.
battling the demons within me.
letting God take control of my life once again.
prayed a prayer.a simple prayer.
allowing God to be the Lord of my life once again.
King of my throne.
Lord of my life.
I Give My Life For You Lord For All You've Done I'd Give My Life For You Lord.

if you people out there who has been reading my entries and have been wondering why its all kinda like in poem format, thats me. i feel that music, arts, poems, expresses ones views and comments on life. in one poem, one can tell a whole life story in it. its totally beautiful man. you should try writing a poem to express what you feel. what comes out on paper is what would come out from your heart. anyways, poetry in the making baby!

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why

2004-09-01T10:05:00.000+08:00

why do you tell me i'm the one
when you go off with other guys.

why do you tell me i am different
when you treat everyone the same.

why do you make me feel euphoric
when you make me feel terrible.

why do you make me happy
when you make me feel sad.

why do you say you love me
when you never show how much you love.

why do you tell me i'm the one
when you go off with other guys.
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delusional

2004-08-31T21:32:00.000+08:00

what the heck am i doing with my life
i hate my life i hate my life
never want another strife
the life you think i think i have.

to think that things would be fine
i'm living a dream within a dream.
to think that things would be okay
i'm living a dream withing a dream.

Oh God, where are you when i need you the most.
Oh God..

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Takes Away the Pain.

2004-08-29T22:27:00.000+08:00

a scar in my heart
left by the pain
once a paper's crumpled up
it can't be perfect again

Oh God
Oh God
Where are you God
It can't be true.
It won't come true

then you came
to take away the shame
to take away the pain
to take away the blame

Oh God
Oh God
Thank you oh God
I Live for You
I Live for You.

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Behind the secrecy of your fall walls.

2004-08-29T19:36:00.000+08:00

we get hurt physically
we get hurt emotionally
we get hurt relationally

1) Dont ignore the hurt

The more you choose to ignore a problem, the more miserable you will get, the more anger you will generate. Time does not heal all wounds until you choose to stitch up that wound.

2)Dont run from your hurt.

If you keep running away from your problems, like going shopping to forget your problems, eating alot to forget your problems, sleeping your life away to forget your problems, it'll just be like a rollar coaster ride. you first get in and get strapped to your seat. then you go up and down, left and right. but once all the hype and excitement is over, you find that you end where you started. if you run away from your problem, you'll just be running nearer and nearer towards it.

3) Dont hide the hurt.

Possesions never compensate for pain.

4) Dont worry about the hurt.

worrying is like a rocking chair. It goes back and forth and nothing gets done.

5)Dont resent the hurt.

6)Dont give up.

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UNDER CONSTRUCTION

2004-08-27T17:28:00.000+08:00

under construction

having some slight difficultied with my blog right now...all entries have been deleted...sorry.

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